5 Things a Man Really Thinks When Online Dating (And No, It’s Not What You Think!)

Photo Credit: Globuskz

Photo Credit: Globuskz

Have you ever wondered what it would be like to be a man in the dating scene? 

Do you think you know what’s going through a man’s mind during the whole online dating process?

If you put yourself in a man’s shoes (I know – scary thought for most ladies), you’ll see that a man experiences a number of thoughts and feelings ranging from:

  • Am I attractive enough?
  • Is this online dating thing for me?
  • Should I focus on improving other parts of my life before jumping back into dating?

These are only a few – trust me, there are many others.

The goal of this post is to provide you with some insights on what a man thinks about during the whole online dating process. From his insecurities, setting up an online profile, messaging women and finally heading out on a first date.

As a woman, you can use this information to help better navigate the often very choppy waters of the dating scene. Whether you’re looking for someone to spend the rest of your life with or just have some fun with.

Ok – let’s jump in!

1. Men Can Be Very Insecure About Their Looks

By the age of 35, forty percent of men will have noticeable hair loss. If that’s not enough, a recent study has found that men are more likely to be obese than women.

As you can tell by the above stats, most men are far from Brad Pitt or Adam Levine in the looks department. However, that doesn’t stop us from worrying about our looks. A lot.

Most men probably don’t realize that many women rate sense of humor, confidence, fashion sense and ambition at least as important if not more important than looks.

Nonetheless, the looks factor is something we are very concerned with.

2. The Leap: Making the Decision to Pursue Online Dating

Pursuing online dating is a big step for many men. In the past, there was a stigma associated with online dating. A question that can raise a man’s heartbeat would be “So, where did you meet?” with the fear of inevitably answering “Online.”

With millions of registered users, men understand that online dating is a target rich environment. The only other time where there was such a huge gathering of single and available people would have been in high school or college. Once you enter the workforce, your priorities change, your social circle changes and this usually has a negative impact on your dating life.

The point is that many men have to push themselves to pursue online dating.

3. Questions Galore: Setting-up an Online Profile

A quick glance at a number of different women’s profile pages shows women doing all sorts of fun activities from skydiving, hiking, boating, dining out and traveling. As a man looking at this, he naturally wonders “Geez, what do I have going on in my life that compares to this?”

In a ruthless sort of way, if women are considered sex objects then men can be considered success objects.

After viewing these profiles, a man naturally wonders “Am I successful enough? Do I have an interesting enough life? Should I work on being more interesting than start dating?”

With a number of resources out there, and some effort, men can set-up an intriguing profile that is honest and attracts the type of women they are looking for. A great profile for a man is like a great resume: it helps get his foot in the door but there is a lot of work required after that in order to make anything stick.

Just keep in mind that men have to work a little harder than women in setting up an impactful online profile.

Photo Credit: chasz57

Photo Credit: chasz57

4. Cutting through the Noise and Making Messages Count

At this stage, a man is feeling better about his chances. But the big question becomes, what should he say when messaging a women?

If you follow some pick-up artists’ advice, women love cocky comedy types and will feel instant attraction to any man who uses that strategy.

Ya, right.

Women might get inundated with smiles, winks and messages however men will never know what it feels like to wake up with your inbox full of various ladies wanting to get in touch.

The challenge for men is finding their voice and then projecting that in a genuine way to the women they’re interested in. We’re guys, let’s just say we’re not always so good at expressing our feelings. Especially when it comes to the opposite sex!

Making the message count is a must for online dating success.

5. Success! Going Out on a First Date

Well, all the seemingly hard work for a man is done, right? All he has to do is show up on time and now it’s the woman’s turn to stress about what to wear, wonder whether her date will find her attractive, etc. Not so fast : )

This is where a man totally stresses about what to do. Although there are a number of excellent resources out there that cover this topic, men still like to over-complicate things.

We can’t help it, it’s in our nature.

A man wants to be seen as attractive and come across witty, charming, funny, ambitious and as a generally good guy. Pretty straightforward goals for a first encounter, don’t you think?

What Next?

How can the information in this post help you?

The biggest thing to understand is that men are often times more nervous than women are during the whole online dating process. They want to make a such a good impression that they can drive themselves crazy.

Despite all the bravado, just remember that many men are looking for the same thing: a quality women to share their love, time and life with.

Keep these points in mind the next time you receive a message or go out on a date with a man. It could help you weed through the time wasters and find the really great gem you’re looking for.

Thanks for reading. Please share this article if you enjoyed it!

Nick Di Fabio is part of the writing team at Free Online Dating Advice, a blog dedicated to helping you find your perfect match online!