Dating can be challenging. At the worst of times, it can beat you down and test your patience.
A series of one and done dates, no replies to messages or getting replies but they’re from people that you’re not overly interested in.
Any of this sound familiar to you?
Well, you need to have a plan in place for what you do outside of online dating that will dramatically increase your chances of success.
In this post, I will name three key areas to focus on that will not only enrich your life, but also impact your dating success.
Ready? Let’s jump in and take a closer look at each of these three keys!
1. Pursue Your Passions
Pursuing your passions and interests is vital to leading a more fulfilled life. When we were kids, we mostly did things we were passionate about. Whether that was playing in the mud by ourselves, drawing cartoons, singing at the top of our lungs or playing with the neighborhood kids until our parents yelled at us to come inside for bed. The point is, we lived each day fully and went to bed at night spent but satisfied.
We need to re-capture this childlike passion in our adult lives.
The first step in making this happen is to create a bucket list. Ask yourself, “What are some things I’ve always wanted to do but have been putting off?”
Some items on my bucket list include taking a digital photography workshop, fighting in an amateur boxing match, taking part in a Toastmasters competition, learning how to dance Salsa and watching a baseball game in Chicago’s Wrigley Field.
When creating your bucket list, be reminded of a quote from the great Stoic philosopher Seneca who said:
It is not that we have so little time but that we lose so much… The life we receive is not short but we make it so; we are not ill provided but use what we have wastefully.
Who wouldn’t want to date someone who is pursuing their passions and living life fully? I personally find that to be a very attractive quality in a mate.
2. Regular Exercise
Now, I could throw out a bunch of stats about how regular exercise can help fend off various diseases, help you sleep better, reduce stress and increase your productivity. But the bottom line for our purposes when it comes to dating is that regular exercise makes you feel more attractive.
You don’t have to look like a fitness model to feel good. However, the idea is that when you regularly exert yourself, you feel a greater sense of self-confidence.
You walk a little taller, clothes tend to fit you a little better and you generally feel good about yourself.
Regular exercise could mean many things. Yoga, jogging, lifting weights and spin class to name just a few.
Personally, I’ve committed to waking early each day and going for a one-hour walk. I set the clock on my iPhone to 30 minutes, leave my house and just begin randomly walking in a direction. Once the alarm goes off, I turn around and head home. I may play music on my headphones, listen to a podcast or sometimes play nothing at all.
This is just one example of how to add a dose of regular exercise in your life.
3. Have an Active Social Life
You should always work toward building a great cake of a life. Your partner should be seen as the icing on that cake.
This entails doing exciting things where you can invite people into your passionate life.
If all you do is sit at home after work and play video games or watch television, how can you expect the person of your dreams to find that attractive?
Getting closer to finding your really great match involves going out there and being social.
The key is that the responsibility lies with you to put yourself in a position to experience that kind of luck. Whether that’s online or offline.
All three of the above strategies have one theme in common: choosing challenge over comfort.
Online dating is a wonderful way to meet other singles looking for the same thing you are.
But, don’t make the mistake of getting caught in a rut where you avoid living life and instead take the easy route by putting all your eggs in the online basket.
Spend some time over the next few weeks implementing these three steps.
I suggest you start by picking one item from each category above and taking action.
This is an example of how mine would look like:
- Sign up for a Toastmasters class (Pursuing Your Passions)
- Commit to going to one Yoga class (Regular Exercise)
- Host a dinner party (Active Social Life)
What have you got to lose? Give it a shot!