Are you worried that maybe you’re doing something that is turning your man off and making him feel less attracted to you? Do you ever notice a bit of a dip in his interest levels but can’t quite put your finger on why? The goal of this post is to provide you with five things to stop doing right away that are total turn-offs to men. Not only that, but it will provide you with insights as to why men find them a turn-off and how you can use that information to your advantage. Let’s take a look!
1. Using Poor Grammar (For Realz Yo!)
I know, I know — many men are just as guilty of this as women. But there are few things less attractive than when a woman sends a text and you need to use an online translator to figure out what the heck she’s saying. The questions to ask are:
- Would you be comfortable dating someone who consistently uses poor grammar?
- Almost to the point that they have to try harder to use poor grammar than they would by just speaking regularly?
Knowing what you can tolerate and are looking for is an essential piece of the dating game.
2. Posting Everything You do on Facebook
A study ranked Facebook as the most used social network based on monthly user activity. It further went on to show that the average user spends seven hundred minutes a month on Facebook and produces ninety pieces of content. So, I think we can all agree, Facebook is hugely popular. And in many cases, it’s kind of cute and endearing when a woman posts about an event she’s going to, or that she’s baking with her Mom and even when she ‘likes’ a photo of her best friend’s baby. However, it sends alarm bells when every piece of her life is posted or somehow connected to Facebook. Lots of albums, hundreds of photos and multiple daily status updates — these are things that scare men away. The point is to live and be present to the moment and by all means, use Facebook as a tool to connect. But don’t use it as a replacement for actually going out there and experiencing life.
3. Dressing Down
There’s no official stat out there on this but I’m pretty sure that jogging pants are the number one cause of divorces in North America. Seriously though, men love it when the women they are with get all dolled up and look great for a night out. Of course, wearing high heels and a dress for Sunday groceries is not practical (unless you’re looking to attract a bevy of boys who stock shelves). However, getting dressed up at the right time is a big turn-on for men.
4. Not Hanging Out with Your Girlfriends
A study by UCLA had this to say about women and friendships:
…friendships between women are special. They shape who we are and who we are yet to be. They soothe our tumultuous inner world, fill the emotional gaps in our marriage, and help us remember who we really are. By the way, they may do even more.
In the long-term, a man wants to be with a woman who is emotionally healthy and doesn’t depend on him alone for her support and guidance. Cultivating friendships becomes harder in adult life with so many competing priorities but it really needs to rank high on your To Do list. There are many ways to connect with other women these days (www.meetup.com, www.toastmasters.org, www.uniquelives.com). So don’t be afraid to use one of the many resources if you’re finding it difficult to re-connect with old friends or are new to a city.
5. Complaining, Passive Aggressively
It’s human nature to complain. But what must be guarded against is complaining about X when really you’re complaining about Y. For example, if the man you’re with didn’t wash your car as he promised to do, let him know as directly and assertively as possible. Don’t complain about the dishes being left on the counter instead. Sometimes us guys need to be hit with a brick over our heads before things sink in.
So What Now?
If you’re guilty of one of the above turn-offs, stop. Now. Then the next step is to basically do the opposite. For example, if you’re not hanging out with your girlfriends, set-up a date and time to meet up with a girlfriend or two over the next week. Go for lunch or coffee, head to a spin class together or have a nice dinner out. Be attuned to what men find attractive in you. Play those angles up and you’ll have quality men knocking down your door all day long. Thanks for reading. Please share this post if you enjoyed it. Nick Di Fabio is part of the writing team over at Free Online Dating Advice. If you are interested in online dating and finding your perfect match then check it out!