Successful online dating requires a lot of proactivity, and your profile is perhaps the best example of that.
It can be all too easy to write up a brief profile, upload a couple of photographs, and then hope that your perfect match will land in your inbox. But in order to give yourself the best chance of finding a meaningful relationship, you will probably have to work a little harder than that.
I have looked at literally thousands of profiles in my time, and so I feel I am well placed to suggest what profiles I think “work” — from a man’s perspective.
What you decide to call yourself isn’t really that important, as long as you don’t choose something particularly ridiculous.
I would strongly recommend against you using your last name — the last thing you want is someone Facebook stalking you (or worse). Just keep it simple, light and breezy.
If you need a little help in choosing a good username, check out my guide here.
The quality and number of photos your have in your profile is of paramount importance. They are the first thing people look at.
Don’t get me wrong — your ideal match will not base his decision solely upon your photographs, because I doubt you want to be with someone that shallow. But when you are taking what is essentially a quick, cold, hard assessment of someone online, photos are certainly a big consideration.
I have a few key tips when it comes to uploading photographs to your profile:
- Include plenty of them.
- Don’t upload photos solely of your pet dog, or of a random landscape, or of your feet (it happens).
- Don’t upload photos that showcase several drastically different looks that you had over a five year period.
- Only upload photos that are an accurate representation of your current appearance.
- Put your best foot forward — make sure you upload flattering (but not deceiving) photos.
Some dating sites have them, and some don’t. If you are on one that does, you should take a few moments to consider your headline.
You should be thinking of something a little interesting, perhaps a little unique, and certainly eye-catching. Of course, you don’t want to come across as creepy or mad, so be relatively conservative.
Choosing a headline can definitely be a bit more taxing than say your username, but I do have you covered with this guide (which also features a bunch of examples).
Your Profile Biography
This is where the real magic happens. Whilst I will initially look at a woman’s photos, what I’m really interested in is her personality and interests. That is going to make the difference between indifference and excitement.
The key here is honesty. You don’t want to attract people who are not interested in you as a person — you should not be afraid to be yourself. You also need to write more than just a sentence or two — it is impossible for anyone to get a handle on your personality with so few words.
As I said before in my profile tips post, your biography should be split into three distinct sections:
- A brief biography - your name, what you do, what you like
- Your “selling points” – the positive things that you bring to a relationship
- What you’re looking for in a partner - focus on character, rather than physical attributes
Each section should be concise and informative, and in total should take no more than a minute or two to read. Try not to over-think what you write – after all, you are trying to put across a true reflection of yourself, not a carefully fabricated lie.
It is utterly pointless me literally copying and pasting screenshots of women’s profiles that I have liked, because all that demonstrates is what I like. That is why I have majored more on the fundamentals of putting a good profile together above.
There is no magic formula that produces the perfect profile. What you should focus on is honesty and openness. Reveal your true character to people, and those that you want to hear from will respond. If you hold back in your profile, you’ll probably end up seeming rather bland and uninteresting, in which case, few people will bother themselves with more than a glance.
Don’t be afraid to stand out!
Creative Commons image courtesy of rhoftonphoto