Tag Archives | Breaking Up

The Zero Date Decade

Photo Credit: Ian Sane

The tears began to well up in her eyes before she started into it.

“We have to talk.”

That was all she really had said when I’d walked in the door from work. She motioned me into the living room as she took her place on the couch adjacent me.

The room seemed to want to crush inward with tension, like a pop bottle that has all the air sucked out of it instantly. The inevitability of this moment had been winding its way toward us for almost two years by my count.

She spoke and of course you needn’t be a mind reader to figure out most of what came next. Fortunately I was of the same mind. I guess no one had wanted to say it until now but she had mustered the courage before me to just get on with it. An eleven and a half year relationship blew apart in a matter of minutes, and seemed very much like an exploded diagram you’d associate with engineering illustrations like patent documents. The various pieces which were once whole uncoupled and seemed to float apart before us in space, never again to be whole.

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How to Deal with Rejection

Graffiti depicting rejection.

The cause behind most online dating disappointments is rejection. No one likes being rejected and depending upon your level of sensitivity and commitment to online dating, the regularity with which you are plagued by feelings of rejection may be occasional or quite often.

However, rejection is inevitable — both in online dating and “traditional” dating. It cannot be avoided. Even the most eligible matches have experienced rejection; it is part and parcel of leading any kind of life that doesn’t involve hiding in a cave, living a hermit-esque existence and cutting yourself off from the world.

With that in mind, your success in online dating is partly attributable to how well you handle rejection and how quickly you bounce back from it. In this post I want to explore why online dating rejection should be nothing but a minor road bump on the journey to finding your perfect match.

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How to Break Up

Broken glass

I always dread having to break up with someone — whether I have been on one date or fifty. I’ve had to do it my fair share of times (and have of course had it done to me) but it still feels unpleasant every time.

Having said that, simply ignoring someone you have met in person via an online dating site is absolutely unacceptable. They deserve to know if you have no intention of seeing them again. And in reality, initiating a breakup doesn’t have to be a particularly painful process. Understanding how to break up is simply a case of considering how you would like to be treated under similar circumstances.

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